I have heard of people becoming born again virgins. Can one have a born-again PR? Let me begin by saying that I have run in a handful of races since the “Corn Teen” of 2020.
The first two were tiny and shy, unsure of what to do in this Covid landscape. One was through the ground of mental hospital on an insanely (poor taste?) hot day. It was a race to promote mental health so there is that irony. Another was the slightly chaotic, very wet and very disappointing 8k that I was unprepared for written about here.
I didn’t think I liked running in races, I am not especially fast, except compared to women of a certain age. Typically, I spend the first mile freaking out that I won’t be able to finish and that they will find me curled in the fetal position when they “sweep” the course at the end. The second mile I am cursing my idiotic ideas and vowing to never race again. “This is the last race I will ever run in, I will only run for fun from this day forth!” By the 3rd mile, I see the literal light at the end of the tunnel and I tell myself the faster I run the faster it will be over. It doesn’t help to think that when I am finishing mile 2, my much faster son has finished the race and is snacking.
Is it me or is that last 0.1 unnecessary? Is it not the longest 100 meters on planet Earth? Do the laws of physics cease to exist? I always forget about that damn 0.1.
Not running in actual races has made me slow. Not even particularly steady, but significantly slower. I thought I would be ok with this but I am not. There is still some life in this old girl yet.
Back to my PR goal of running in the 25’s for my next 5k. Well, I was looking through our local run club results and the results from the last Turkey Trot we ran in Florida and found that I have already done this, more than once! I have no recollection of this, I thought my time was in the 26 range but no, 25:10 is my PR and I see no way that I am capable of running this time in 3 days. That’s something like an 8:06 pace, a pace which is perilously close to what I consider a “sprint.”
But do I look good?
On a positive note, I have been stealing the running sunglasses my son got for his birthday often enough that he finally yelled at me and I bought my own. Like everything I do and buy, I spent way too much time analyzing and being “frugal”. Ordinarily I buy whatever sunglasses are available from TJ Maxx or Marshalls, the idea of buying sunglasses without trying them on seemed foreign. How would I know if they were distorted or if I looked like a cast member from Dynasty?
I settled on these and I love them, the Tifosi “Swank.” The matte finish is so much better for sweaty faces. Having the bright polarizing lens means I don’t have to keep pulling my glasses up and down depending on the tree canopy above, allowing me to leap gracefully over the rocks and roots on the trail. They look pretty cool, at least as cool as I am willing to look. Though more expensive then the 9.99 glasses I usually buy, they are not ridiculously expensive.
In case I didn’t like the Tifosi’s, I bought these Knockarounds. I liked these too so I am keeping them both! They are a little less fancy than the Tifosis but they are still much better than my usual sunglasses!
The pair of Goodr that my son has are nice too, I wasn’t as crazy about the mirrored lenses but they have a great lightweight feel and ample but not overly dark light blocking.
All three of these brands, Knockarounds, Tifosi and Goodr have fun colors and remind me of the Swatch watches I so loved as a kid. I am coming full-circle, I will be the old lady trying to chase her best 5k time wearing some crazy sunglasses and checking my time on a swatch non-smart watch. Maybe a perm and bangs to complete my teen look?
We can at least all agree, I will be wearing ugly Hokas.
While I may not be able to run a 25:15, my goal is still to see a 25 in front of my time. I have been doing at least one speed workout a week, which I hate. I can feel a difference when I run faster, my legs hurt and I sound and look like Cujo on a hot day. Speed is not my friend. The one thing I have learned is to never say never, maybe I will like speed workouts someday. After my lobotomy.
Next, I will regale you with spooky tales of my pumpkin pie.
