Category: Off-Grid Ideas

As mentioned previously, I never camped as a child. While I have come to enjoy sleeping in the great outdoors, we realized the impracticality of spending multiple days/nights at the homestead without some sort of shelter. With the clever advent of my husband’s shed-trailer (discussed here), we eliminated much of our lugging back and forth of goods.

The anti-shaggin’ wagon

The summer of 2020 taught me many things; that I have a pretty non-existent social life as a matter of normal, daily, living, we use far too many paper towels, and my job can’t be done remotely. I also learned that when in self or state imposed isolation people buy these items in abundance: paper products, disinfecting products, wood chippers, fences and sheds. Interesting how many of the list above revolves around trees/pulp products. If you were cleaning with pine-sol, I guess it would come full circle. According to those in the business, sheds have been selling like hot cakes. Large, splintery hot cakes. I guess people are working from home and realize they can’t muzzle their children without many repercussions and are resorting to an adult wood-fort in the yard.

Shed Shopping in a Zombie Apocalypse

We considered buying a shed kit, but it was very hard to find one in stock. And it would need to delivered to the house and transported to the lot as our homestead has no delivery address. AND we would have to actually build the shed. I have been told that cost of building materials is rising sharply and doing out the numbers in my area, buying all of the lumber and hardware would be even more costly than the kit and not too far behind the “Amish” shed we eventually bought already assembled and delivered. I am a little hazy on where exactly the Amish fit in to all of this, but my son did some research and told me that all of the sheds you see for sale in the roadside shed patches come from a single factory in Louisiana. The lumber is then sent to the Mennonites where the sheds are assembled into one of several styles and distributed to their dealers. Apparently our shed was assembled by Mennonites in North Carolina, I was fact-checked by my son, so no Amish were involved in the process.

The Winning Shed

After visiting several road-side shed farms (I now see them everywhere, I assume they were always there) we were fortunate to find our dream shed close by the lot. Most of the shed places offer delivery within a 50 mile radius. We opted for a 12×20, double lofted, barn-style shed in a light color with a metal roof.

She’s a beaut, Clarke!

We had been told by multiple outlets that custom order sheds were backed up several months due to demand and the ones on the lot were being sold quickly. We purchased the shed despite not being quite sure if our site was adequately prepared or if the delivery truck could make it up the former logging road leading to our lot. My husband had had several phone conversation with the shed-manager, he was not there the day went to the shed ground, but his new trainee was there! I know she was new, we were very patient, she had no idea about how and when they could deliver our shed. The shed-lady got the shed-manager on the phone and he freaked us out by telling us they couldn’t deliver the shed if we had left any stumps. Would our hand-cleared lot pass muster? We tried showing pictures to the clueless but kind shed-lady. She agreed with us that it looked FINE. Shed manager was back-peddling. Eventually we had a verbal agreement that the dealer would refund our money if the delivery driver said they couldn’t get it up there, that’s good enough in our book! Most of our cleaning was by hand, the trees were relatively small but very dense, we had no idea how wide or flat the site would need to be for delivery of our shed.

We were told it would be about 2 weeks until delivery, we had plenty of time, or so we thought. Luckily, we are very impatient and immediately went back and cut down more trees. A neighbor stopped by and offered his backhoe services, we gladly accepted, he would return during the week to clear out the width and flatten the site a bit more. This is where my important dos and don’ts list in land clearing comes in. The dust, Ken Burns could have held off on making his Dust Bowl documentary and photographed our dusty and weary faces upon returning to our ravaged land. The wood chips and grass seed have given us hope once more.

After the 3 hour trip home, we got a call from the shed-man that they wanted to take a trial run up to the lot prior to the delivery truck making the trip. My husband talked to Roger, the backhoe man, he had returned the next day and done the additional clearing. The 3 hour trip was made again by my patient and bear-fearing husband and he led the shed-man up to the lot. We passed the shed-man test. I wasn’t there for the delivery, but my husband said it quite the production! There is a separate “rascal” type of pulling machine that places the shed on the site after it is delivered from the truck, they use concrete blocks to level the shed and Voila! No more tent camping with the bears!

Our new off-grid getaway!

At some point I will show you the treacherous, miles long, single lane gravel road we take to reach this glorious indoor/outdoor space, it is not for the faint of heart or weak-willed shed delivery people.

Avoiding bears and clearing land, tips and tidbits!

A beautiful sunrise at the homestead to start the 4th of July. It was this very clearing where I saw the bear!

Getting our Bearings

As much as one can mentally prepare to see such things, I had mentally prepared myself to see a few things, ticks, rattlesnakes and bears. With the amount of brush/thorn/possibly barbed wire we were clearing, I treated every stick like it was a snake. We had far fewer ticks than on our first day, we had sprayed the area ( I am sure this is in the environmentally incorrect way) but I can only handle so many ticks and weeks later we still seem to have bees, dragonflies and butterflies so maybe they hate ticks too. I had read much about the black bear, in Virginia it appears to be flourishing. In this reading, I found that, unlike vampires, bears do not need to be invited into your home. Black bears also like the smell of shampoo and soap, luckily we were filthy. I was brushing my teeth ( also an attractant) and attempting to spit far from our campsite when I saw something huge at the end of the clearing. Unlike thinking that every speck of dirt is a tick and that every stick is a snake, there is no mistaking a bear. The bear took one look (sniff) at my showered personage and ran swiftly into the woods. I have since seen a few tracks and dirty paw marks on my car, but no further sighting of the bear, at least not by us. The gentlemen with the backhoe who helped level a bit of our clearing to make way for the shed-cabin (a process accelerated by the bear-sighting) said the bear ran out at one point. Here is the best photo I could get of the paw prints.

I did buy bear spray in case I am unable to persuade a bear that I smell very un-soap like and my attempts to make myself noisy and larger fail.

In all seriousness, though I am still told by Google that I have zero readers, I will share my bear-minimum knowledge.

  1. Don’t eat in your tent, this shouldn’t be hard for most people but if your have a kid who likes to hide food in her back-pack “just in case,” you may need to do a pat down before bed.
  2. Don’t keep food or trash in or around your tent, nor in your car, we were told to sling a bag over a tree but that seemed crazy. I did not have a bear box but if you remember our shed-trailer, it made a good bear box.

3. Do your toothpasting/facewashing away from your tent, we walked down the driveway to spit out our paste. I am aware they sell some kind of camping toothpaste but I am winging it here.

4 Be noisy when you walk in the woods, we have two children with us most of the time, we never take a quiet walk in the woods, and that, my friend, has made all the difference.

During the great Pandemic of 20-ought, I have heard about kids withering away from lack of vitamen D. Determined to develop strong bones and immunity, I put those kids to work, we cut, we hauled. We had’t wised up to the neccesity of a wood chipper yet, or we would have chipped as well.

How many rattlesnakes do you see?

We had a mixed weather forecast over the 4th of July, we expected rain every day but wound up not having any. This was really lucky because when it did rain while we were tent camping a week or so later, we were grossly under-prepared.

My cast-iron cooking skills started to improve, my eggs weren’t so sad looking!

I have no explanation of the slingshot or the whipping cream.

To show that I am not entirely heart-less, we did take a day trip to a nearby waterfall. It was a nice hike and would have been refreshing has I thought to bring aqua socks!

We knew that we wanted to add a shed to use as a camping cabin, we also knew we had mountain views all around. Though we enjoyed our 4 nights of tent camping, we knew long term it would be more relaxing to have a dry place to stay. We picked a spot that looked relatively flat and worked our way out from there. The sheer volume and ferocity of the thorns really can’t be described, it was like something out of a fairy tale. The brambles wrapped around each tree, you had to clear them to get close to the trunk or to walk past the trees.

‘Barrow of fun!
Spoiler alert! The wheelbarrow doesn’t make it to the sequel. Timber!

After the weeding and wacking and wanton destruction of wheelbarrows, we found our view!

Hello, view!

My advice when clearing raw land

  1. Be prepared to be unimaginably dirty, I was obsessed before we left about making a camp shower, my husband thought I was crazy but I am telling you, it was a life-saver! I followed this guy’s youtube tutorial, super easy. I set it up on paver stones that I brought from my failed raised-bed garden.
  2. You can never have too many tarps, they can be used to haul brush, cover equipment, create shower curtains for step one! They are the duct tape of the animal world.
  3. Repel Tick Defense, I love this stuff! Made with Picardin, a synthetic derivative of a pepper plant, I find it very effective against ticks and chiggers. I am a bug magnet!
  4. Heavy duty gloves, buy in bulk, you will need them.
  5. We bought the “Last Woodchipper in Virginia” it seems, we had to drive to a store close to neither home nor homestead to find it. Country Pro 196-cc Kohler 3-in Steel Gas Wood Chipper isn’t cheap but when compared to renting a comparable until for any length of time, it was worth it to us. I consider Chippy to be a member of our family now, I know we would never have made the progress we made without him. In addition to eliminating our giant piles of rattle-snake den, it provides a much needed mulch layer around camp. I had no idea how important this would be until we had bare ground with no pine needles etc, the dust was unbelievably messy and when it rained, it was all mud. The mulch made a huge difference in not only our erosion control but in the cleanliness of camp.
  6. Beware of sap, I have sap in places I didn’t know could have sap. Water will not help you, not that we had running water. Alcohol based cleaners, hand sanitizers, etc are the key here. I stepped in a hug mound of sap that took every bit of my 80’s kid stepping in bubblegum know-how to get off.
  7. Bring something to relax/sit on. We had a tree- hammock (watch the sap mentioned above) and later added this crazy “inflatable hammock.” My kids describe it as sitting in a giant hot dog bun, but I like it! Sitting is a luxury when you are cleaning raw land.
Sneak Peak of peaks!

Next up: Shed Shopping!

I already felt guilty that we skipped a family tradition of celebrating the 4th of July with my husband’s family due to complicating factors of Covid-19 and various areas of civil unrest between our two locations. I felt even guiltier that our plans now included working from dawn till dusk on clearing out land to eventually put a shelter on. As I mentioned previously, we had been there a few days earleir, ink not yet dry on our e-docs, to clear out enough space for a tent and to bring up some supplies. By supplies I mean, tick spray, pruners, clippers, saws, gloves, eyewear all stored in a giant tupperware container.

As a side note, my husband very cleverly turned our harbor freight folding trailer into a mobile shed. The idea was to have a place to store our stuff until we have a space for a longer term shelter without having to haul it all back and forth. We had this trailer for years and have only used it a few times, by adding sides and a lockable top, it became a horizontal shed on wheels!

Our version of a “little red wagon”

There were some “hitches” and glitches but once the wiring was fixed, we were on our way! We took the very long way in order to avoid the highway, I followed behind in the Subaru.

Don’t want to get too close.

We got a later start then intended and when we arrived we needed to get camp set up.

  • Not very inviting, but a little weedwhacking and branch cutting helped!
  • Much better, almost justifies dragging the family to the woods over the 4th of July!

I would love to show you an instagram worthy photo of our first night at our homestead. But since I only have instagram so I can pretend I know how to use it in order to monitor my teenage son’s account, I won’t do that. I would love to show you a pintrest worthy montage complete with gingham tablecloth and picnic baskets. Instead, I will show you my left-over folding chair, plastic table hot mess that we rolled into town with.

Behold! Our luxury camp set up. I am an influencer for Tupperware and Igloo products.

We retired after a delicous feast, we even had a luxurious bathroom facility.

The master bath, there is even a wheelbarrow in case you really had to go.
The wet wipes in the photo are the last of their species, so rare that I hope to pass them down to my children’s children one day.
(Share on Pintrest)

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that this first night I had some serious reservations. The first two visits to the lot we had many ticks on us, I was really worried about ticks heading into this camping adventure. I did find this spray at Tractor Supply (basically a hillbilly target and I mean that lovingly as a newly minted hillbilly.) It is made from some part of a chrysanthemum which, like baby oil to Jersey shore people, is beautiful but deadly (to ticks.) We had far fewer ticks, but there was still panic in the tent with one or both children bemoaning their fate of spending the night in our hot, possibly tick filled tent. We brought air mattresses as I knew the ground would be root laden and unlevel and the battery operated air pump we brought died midway through filling the first mattress. Que the whining about having to blow up air matresses by mouth and my husband and I attempt to put everything into our “mobile shed/ bear box.” Between the bickering, the heat, the fear of bears, the tiny battery operated fan which did nothing and the overwhelming prospect of clearing out acres of tick-filled trees Paul Bunyon style, I felt like I had made a huge mistake. I may have threatened to leave first thing in the morning and leave them with a babysitter if I ever darkened this forest again.

We all woke up in better spirits. I had not been eaten by a bear, our shed on wheels did not have claw marks all over it, there wasn’t a layer of ticks on my face by morning and it was actually cold at night. Too cold, and I hadn’t brought sleeping bags as it was close to 90 during the day. Live and learn, I did have one blanket that the kids shared. My husband and I froze. More on that later.

We set to work with chainsaw, loppers, clippers and started making piles. I am a worker and happiest when busy. The piles grew larger and so did our turning radius!

This is around the time we spotted the “murder hornet.”

During the tree trimming/cutting we upset some winged and angry insect which resembled a larger yellow-jacket. We named it the “murder hornet” after the Covid-19 trifecta. We may have put our tent tarp on top of their nest because in the morning, we all could hear a very loud buzzing.

After a day of work, we could finally see the mountain view we had fought through ticks and hornets and lots of thorns to get to. Did I mention the thorns?

We see you, mountain view!

We made a lot of progess this first day.

To reward us all for this hard work, I lightly seared and then mostly boiled steaks! Cast iron cooking on a tiny propane grill is a skill. A skill I do not have.

We missed the last stop to flavor town a few miles back. At least we have the fire extinguisher handy is case that steak boils over.

We will discuss more about my shower in the next post, because with all of this de-thorning, cutting, pushing and pulling, we were filthy. I will finish with this beautiful sunset walk, a reminder of why we fell in love with this area. A serene evening, just before we saw the bear.

Yes, I said bear.

Do you sometimes feel like we have lost touch with part of our humanity? Our modern life is so easy and we take so much for granted. I am not a luddite and I do believe that science and technology can create a better world for everyone but I sometimes wonder how much of our humanity we lose due to the technological world. How many “Bed Bath and Beyond” and “Applebees” do we need? For better or worse, the Covid-19 paradigm shift, hasn’t altered my social life much. We tend to be home bodies or forced family fun day trippers. We don’t dine out much, don’t engage in a lot of social activities but try to get outdoors and play or do yard work as much as possible.

My son is a teenager and with each passing day I am more aware of how short our time is as a family unit. Though we spend nearly all of our time together, I am always questioning if we are teaching him enough. During these last few months at home, I am trying to really get the point through to both of my children that the only constant is change and the ability to adapt to your situation is the most important thing to learn.

So back to the land, literally and figuratively. I am a real-estate junkie and follow all types of home and lands on the various websites, monitoring the sales and price changes. We spend a lot of time in the mountains, here in Virginia they aren’t as busy as in many places and hotels, cabins, campsites etc can be in short supply. I saw a large price drop on a 13 acre parcel of land bordering West Virginia, showed it to my husband. He also thought it sounded like a good deal and called the agent. The agent said they were considering an offer at the moment but were waiting to hear back on a counter-offer. I asked if we could also put in an offer, he said sure could and my crazy husband and son took off on a Sunday afternoon for a 3 hour drive to see the lot.

I think it was a good bonding experience for the two “men” to go and look at the land, it was a rough parcel with no clearing. They had to cut their way through and by standing on a stump, a mountain view could be seen in the distance. Though it wasn’t an area we have done much exploring in, it was within an hour of many hiking/biking/kayaking places we wanted to be near, the price couldn’t be beat and with Corona-Tine still in effect for most summer activities, it would be something to do as a family.

As a kid, I never went camping. The closest I ever came to camping as a child was the time I went to summer camp for a week and slept in a cabin. I didn’t really enjoy the communal living aspect and I became violently ill with food poisoning one night and thew up all over my bunk and the bunk below me. I spent a lot of time in the infirmary. I did not make life-long friends at this camp.

After I married my husband, we went tent camping once in South Dakota. I don’t remember much about this trip except we brought along our little shih-tzu mix and he barked at every noise he heard. It was a busy and noisy campground and we didn’t sleep much.

Now that my kids are older, we have taken them camping a few times. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I tend to be a control freak and I think having to let all of that go is actually quite relaxing for me. I actually prefer the remote campsites, no bathrooms or people right next to you. If you are going to the wilderness having a giant RV next to you running a generator isn’t my idea of fun. So while I actually like camping, I don’t particularly like camgrounds.

I have always wanted to own land. I joke about wanting to be the “landed” gentry.” My mother’s family comes from a long line of farmers and I like to think that I have land lust in my blood. I also have a deep doomsday prepper vein constantly running in the back of my head. The last few months have really brought this to a head and I had to check myself from going Mad Max. But recent events and shortages also showed how by being as prepared (and certainly there were lessons on things to improve upon) I was much less stressed than I might have been otherwise.

I like to consider myuself a minimalist, I like to keep the belongings I have for as long as possible, I try to keep life as simply as possible. I work to live not live to work. Recently, we found some acerage, priced very inexpensively, in the mountains about 3 hours from where we live. We made an offer on sight and closed a few weeks later. The day we signed our documents on-line, we headed to the property with a weed whacker, a chainsaw, tick spray and a dream. We cleared just enough to fit our tent so that the next time we came back, 4 days later over the 4th of July, we had a homebase!

I am going to chronicle our progress here, we have had a blast getting outside and getting very very dirty!